Well well...I finally get to write on my blog! Something I haven't done in awhile. I actually really love writing on my blog. Lets me get everything I think out, well maybe not EVERYTHING...hehe.
I'm not the kind of person that keeps everything bottled in, nor am I this shy, quiet, go with the flow person. I've been called LOUD. I didn't like that word associated with the description of who I am. ..LOUD... mmmm I've never thought myself a "LOUD" person. Talkative, outgoing, energetic, ....YES. But I never thought of myself as loud. Then being called loud by a few of my closest friends and family, which they were saying was a wonderful thing, I had to wonder what LOUD meant to me.
When I was in speech therapy last year with Bridger they had a Mommy class, where the moms would have a group and individual sessions about their children, to be better parents. Ect. One of the things we learned was to determine what was a real thought and what wasn't. They explained by how sometimes our minds trick us and how we then follow the negative thought and fulfill it, by making the thought true. So for example: I'm a bad mom. Thats my negative thought, the kids come upstairs and ask me if I want to go to the park. I tell them No because I'm tired. I go to bed. See I'm a bad mom, I didn't take my kids to the park so I self-fulfilled the negative thought. I'm a bad Mom. So they told us to ask ourselves questions to give ourselves a reality check. If its true, are you going to die from that decision, can you change that decision, ect. Then she said something that has stuck with me, she said, Learn who you are and accept it with confidence!
So I ask myself am I LOUD? I ask Jed, "Am I loud?"...He smiles, laughs and says "Oh yeah, we are loud people Cat". I smile and said "we aren't LOUD...I said how are we supposed to talk, in a whisper?!? I can't even hear sometimes. I don't think we talk LOUDLY we just talk normally." He said, "umm..no we are loud".
So on a double date we were talking, and again the disscussion of me being loud came up! Jed just smiled at me and knew that I was sensitive to the word, and I said, what?! I'm not loud!? And she said, your being loud right now! hahah....So I come home and I look at Jed and I said, I was called LOUD again. ....and he starts laughing at me, he comes grabs me, gives me a huge hug and says, YOU are LOUD! You are vibrant, outgoing, you have such a big heart everything about you is LOUD. You live your life LOUDLY. You care LOUD, you do things LOUD, and I love you for it. Well that totally gave him HUGE deposits in the marriage bank. =) Then he said how he was so lucky to have me as his wife, and how he worships the ground I walk on...I might of embellished a tad bit there at the end...but pretty close to what he said.
So back to the question " Am I loud?" ...Yes, YES I'm loud, and I'm going to accept it with confidence. I am loud, to my big wild LOUD curly hair, My big LOUD eyes, my big LOUD opinions, my big LOUD voice. The more I thought about it, I am LOUD.
So starting out my year LOUD!! Its a LOUD year, I'm turning 30 , Jed and I are going to be married for 10 years! My sweet baby girl is going to be baptised, very loud year for the Glazner family and I love it!!