"Cliques" *Updated*

“Cliques”

Ya see when I got married; I was one of the first people to get married in my social group of single friends…my “Clique”. Of course I couldn't be away from Jed for a minute when we got engaged, after work it was Jed, on the phone it was Jed, in the morning it was Jed, and on the weekends it was Jed.

Then we got married, and we worked even more, we saw each other LESS even though we were married, let alone have any time with any of my friends. When I was finally ready to start hanging out with my single friends again, I had to rule out the guys- No more hanging out with my single guy friends...apparently its not "appropriate" and "Looks bad" and "having made out with one or two of them would be "awkward" (OK I'm seriously joking)....and then my girl single friends all started to get engaged, and doing the same thing I did to them.

THEN I got pregnant, and of course I was the first one to get pregnant, they were all being busy being engaged...that is when I first noticed that for the first time in my life I didn’t have any GIRL FRIENDS!!

In High School or College, or working, its easier to make those connections…but being a Stay at Home Mom it got way harder to meet other Moms!!. .So I didn't have any "GIRL" friends for a very very long time. When I was pregnant I felt SOOO alone, because I lost that connection with other women.

So if you think a “Clique” is two women making a connection or 3 women making a connection or how ever number of women making a connection is a “Clique”, then that is what I was craving for. A connection with another woman!! Now I love my husband, he is my BEST FRIEND in the whole world, but he is NOT a girl!! There is something so special in having that one on one girl time!!

So when I finally made that connection with some of my closest friends today, I was in heaven. I felt like I had some balance in my life. I felt like I had someone that I could talk to every day, that I could complain too, that I could ask to watch my kids, or someone that cares about me when I’m sick or when my kids are sick. It’s that special connection you have with another woman that I feel makes your life balanced out.

I feel that as I get older, married with children, that these friendships get more valuable to me. I get more protective of them, and I get more comfortable with them as they do with me. So I understand when a group of friends finally get to that level of friendship.

I also feel that being in a “Clique” also comes with some common sense underlying rules that people “should” already know when we are with other people like:

1. First of all, if a friend or a group of friends are going to go do something WAY fun. Don't announce it to everyone that ISN"T going! Don't start talking about the event or the activity with people that AREN'T invited. I mean...didn't we learn this in first grade when we are invited to a birthday party and our sweet BFF wasn't invited??
2. When we’re in a group, it can take ONE person to either pull us IN the conversation or leave us OUT. Lets be a little careful when we tease someone new that isn’t in our group, they don’t know us and don’t understand our sense of humor no matter how fun loving we say it, having a group or a couple of women laugh or chuckle at you isn’t fun at ANY age.
3. Third be courteous and more aware of people around us. Sometimes we are so involved with the funny thing that happened to us last night that we are having this great time, while someone else might be trying to get in on the fun, and can’t. We can laugh about our “inside jokes” when its just our little "Clique", but while other people are around lets venture out! Ya never know what awesome friendships we might be missing out on!!

So before I get off my soap box, I have been on the receiving end as well, wanting to have connections with other women, and not having the time to make them, or not making the effort to do so. I had the power to “Be a Duck” where I let it roll off my back, or I could be offended at everyone I knew and stay home and feel sorry for myself. I’ve done BOTH. LOL. The latter got old really quickly!

My Dad told me something that has stood with me my whole life. He told me that life is a Party and I am the host, I have to be the one to greet everyone at MY party, to make sure everyone feels included at MY party, to make sure everyone is having fun at MY party, and to make sure I was nice to all MY guests. (Even though sometimes “SOME” of the guest we’re not invited!!) I know it’s a little silly analogy but its worked for me.

I LOVE my party, and as I get to know every single one of my "guests", I get to love it more and more.

So I am off my soap box, to those that have “Cliques” more power to you!! For those of you craving that connection, make it happen!! Don’t wait for the invitation, send out your own!! Remember its YOUR party and you’re the host, no one will know to come unless you invite them!!

To all of my "Guests" I love you and I'm so glad you came!! To my guests that haven't come yet, I can't wait until you come!!

-Cat-